More Funny Stuff…(this one is from another ‘wordpresser’)

I was surfing through some wordpress tags and found this….it’s from

http://jokeoftheday.wordpress.com/2006/09/27/mr-fenton-is-no-longer-welcome-in-walmart/

Read it, check out their site and some of their other jokes, I thought this one was hilarious:

Dear Mrs. Fenton,Over the past six months, your husband, Mr. Bill Fenton has been causing quite a commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this type of behavior and have considered banning the entire family from shopping in any of our stores.We have documented all incidents on our video surveillance equipment.Three of our clerks are attending counseling from the trouble your husband has caused. All complaints against Mr. Fenton have been compiled and are listed below.

Mr. Wally Underpants
President and CEO of Wal-Mart Complaint Department

MEMO

Re: Mr. Bill Fenton – Complaints – 15 Things Mr. Bill Fenton has done while his spouse is shopping:

1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people’s carts when they weren’t looking.

2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.

3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the restrooms.

4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official tone, ‘Code 3′ in housewares….. and watched what happened.

5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and asked to put a bag of M&M’s on layaway.

6. September 14: Moved a ‘CAUTION – WET FLOOR’ sign to a carpeted area.

7. September 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told other shoppers he’d invite them in if they’ll bring pillows from the beddingdepartment.

8. September 23: When a clerk asks if they can help him, he begins to cry and asks ‘Why can’t you people just leave me alone?’

9. October 4: Looked right into the security camera; used it as a mirror, and picked his nose.

10. November 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, asked the clerk if he knows where the antidepressants are.

11. December 3: Darted around the store suspiciously loudly humming the “Mission Impossible” theme.

12. December 6: In the auto department, practiced his “Madonna look” using different size funnels.

13. December 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browse through, yelled “PICK ME!” “PICK ME!”

14. December 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumes the fetal position and screams “NO! NO! It’s those voices again!!!!”

(And; last, but not least!)

15. December 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door and waited a while; then, yelled, very loudly, “There is no toilet paper in here!” 

LOL!

Til next time…..Happy Blogging!

found this, thought it was funny…

I found this comment on the web.  I couldn’t believe what I was reading at first, then I laughed when I finished it…Tell me what you think…It would be a helluva way to start a conversation with someone…wonder what the initial reaction would be??????

“I know we just met and I really shouldn’t be asking you this, I feel shy, but I want it so bad.  Don’t get me wrong, it’s just that I haven’t had it for a long time. I can already feel it going in so hard and coming out so soft and wet. No one has to know about this. I need it. I’m desperate, and your help would be very grateful.  You must think I have a lot of nerve asking you for this, but I can feel my tongue around it, sucking all the juice out until there’s no more left…this has been on my mind all day long.  I hope I’m not being forward, I’m usually not like this but…Can I have a piece of gum?”

Now that’s good!  Imagine saying that to someone you have a crush on, or someone that you’re dating….You could take out the part that says, “I know we just met..”  I’m gonna have to try that on someone…WOW, I actually can’t wait to try that on someone! LOL!   I’m going to do it tomorrow….Can’t wait, I love a good play on words!  Especially one like this that causes one reaction initially, then calls for a totally opposite reaction afterwards!!!

Anyway, I just thought it was funny & wanted to share with ya’ll! 

Til Next Time….Happy Blogging!

Less than 24 hours….

Well, it’s Monday night, and I have way less than 24 hours before I go see Ragweed in concert!!!!  I still have no idea what I’m going to wear, other than jeans and tennis shoes…..I hate deciding what tops to wear.  Oh well….

I looked at my blog stats, not that many views of my web log today, guess my blog is getting boring again…..I have been kind of lazy when it comes to posting stuff, also….I have been having so much fun with Justin, and my friends.  I am in a really good place in my life right now, and I’m enjoying it. 

Anyway, I have absolutley no groceries in my house, and I’m hungry right now, so I’m gonna stop this post here and go get something to eat….

Until next time….Happy Blogging!

Something important I heard once…

I thought this post was very necessary…I got a comment from a reader, and this phrase is great advice for anyone, especially when it comes to relationships.

If you have ever been in a bad relationship, then found someone that blows your mind by treating you wonderful, you will definitely understand this.  When a person decides for themselves that they are tired of being treated like total crap, they find a way to get out of the bad relationship.  Then once this person learns how to be happy with themselves, they move on and find that perfect person that treats them absolutely wonderful….then all the feelings of being scared of being hurt, scared of being rejected, or just plain scared period start coming back….

This is one thing I heard from someone that really helped, and is continuing to help, me get over all of those fears…

~don’t be afraid to let something good happen to you!~

In order to fall in love, and I mean REAL LOVE, you have to make yourself vulnerable.  Let your walls down, let your guard down(however you want to say it..).  When you let yourself open up, you do open yourself up to being treated awesome, but you also open yourself up to getting hurt.  It’s a risk you have to take.

Just remember that the second you feel like you aren’t being treated the way every person deserves to be treated, you have to cut your losses.  Oh!, and don’t go looking for Mr. or Ms. right…..The best relationships happen, and you find the best people, when your not looking for them.  Let happiness find you….If you can just do this, I promise that good things will happen.  Always remember that the best things in life happen when you least expect them to!

Until next time…..Happy Blogging!

Scared last night, Bored tonight….

Well, it’s another boring night here at my house….I am at home, watching Carlos Mencia on Comedy Central…..Sleepy, but not enough to go to bed….HAHAHAHA, some female just asked Mencia “Why are guys dicks?”  He replies, “Because you guys always f*ck dicks…”  Funny….BECAUSE IT SEEMS TO BE TRUE MORE OFTEN THAN NOT!

I’m so glad I am with a guy that ISN’T a dick.  It’s a weird thing to be with a nice guy for a change?  I almost don’t know how to react…..I’m getting used to it though.  Justin text me today and asked how my day was, then followed that question by calling me Beautiful….I couldn’t stop smiling for hours after I read that text.  It made me feel great!

Now Mencia is talking about how he thinks God is either a woman, or gay….Is that sacrilegious?  I wonder??????  He says God is either a woman or gay because of all the beautiful colors that are in nature and haven’t been touched by man….It’s freaking hilarious.  If you haven’t ever seen this show, Mind of Mencia, you should def check it out!  Anyway, commercial break…..Bored Again!

So, I got my cell phone number changed a few days ago because I was getting harassing phone calls from my ex-husband…..Why, after being divorced over a year, does he still do stupid shit like this?  I have no idea….Hopefully since he doesn’t have my number anymore, he won’t call anymore.  Now my only dilemma is that certain people still know where I live….I desperately want to move.  The parents were thinking about buying me and my little bro a house, but he would have to move back here in order for them to do that.  I don’t think he is going to move though….SHIT!

I don’t know why he won’t move, he seems like he is miserable all the freaking time.  I get phone calls almost every weekend from him…bless his heart.  He just gets down on himself.  His apartment got broken into the other day.  His roommate was at home and heard something downstairs, but he thought it was my brother getting home from class early.  When my bro’s roommate walked down the stairs, he scared the intruder off, and he found the bag that all of my brothers shit was in, almost out the door.  The tv was even moved out into the center of the living room like they were gonna take it too.  I don’t know why he wants to stay where he is now, people breaking into his house and shit?!?!  Oh well, guess I’ll just have to wait to get a house when I can afford one myself…Sucks, but I’ll deal with it. 

I went to my boyfirend’s bro’s apt last night and hung out with the two of them.  I got back to my place between 10:30 and 11 p.m. and there was some ghetto looking guy standing right beside my house.  I was on the phone with my bro, and I stayed on the phone with him until after I took my dog out.  I was kind of scared, but I had to take my dog out to pee.  There used to not be scary people hanging around where I live, but now….It’s like every night some weirdo is walking around outside.  I need to get a pistol.  I text my bf and told him about it because I was freaked out, all alone, no weapon to protect myself with (with the exception of 2 aluminum baseball bats that I will not hesitate to bash someone’s skull in with…But a gun would be better…)  He called me almost immediately.  He thinks I need a pistol too.  He wants me to move too.  If I could find a place to live for less than $600.00 a month, and that allows pets, I would move in a heart beat.  I live right next to the damn gas station that people get shot at when it gets dark.  I hate it.  It seems like the landlords of my place used to be more selective about tenants.  They didn’t put up with loud ass music after midnight, and lots of parties, and stupid shit like that.  I mean, crap!  If I wanted all that stupid shit going on around me, I would still be in an apartment close to campus, or even in the dorms on campus.  I just hate stupid college kids that have nothing better to do than play loud annoying music in the middle of the night in the middle of the week.  Why can’t they do that on the weekends when I’m not at home?  There used to be mostly old(er) people that lived here with just a few of us college students sprinkled in here and there….NOT ANYMORE!  I almost hate it.

I sound like an old fart talking about this shit, but it pisses me off…..I need to find somewhere else to live!

Guess I’ll stop now…..This is probably enough bitching for one night….

Til next time…………..Happy Blogging!

Monday’s SUCK!

Well, it’s Monday…again….I hate Mondays! My 1SG called this morning and left me a voice mail. He said that the SGM of The Army is meeting with E6’s and below, and my brigade SGM told him to ask me if I was available to meet this Thursday with the other soldiers that were picked. Unfortunately I can’t do it. I have class on Thursday, and although my unit would put me on orders so I would be able to miss class, I missed all last week because I was sick. I am playing catch up this week. I have to catch up in all my classes because I didn’t go to school but 2 days last week. Being sick just throws everything off schedule. I went and picked up my dog from the vet this morning. I had him boarded over the weekend because I wasn’t home. He had 2 sores on his neck that just popped up last week, around Thursday. I had the vet look at the sores, and this morning they told me that the sores are a staff infection. I was so pissed, and felt so bad for my puppy. I asked how he could have gotten a staff infection, they said anywhere that he has been where it’s been dirty, or even from another dog. Well, I had my dog at my uncles house last weekend, and he has 2 outside dogs that are just disgusting, and they got a little rough with my dog. That’s probably where he got it. I felt so bad! He is on antibiotics and the sores are going away. Being sick sucks! I also got an email from my Army boss. He isn’t going to be at drill again in October. I have to help SRP another one of my units the Saturday of drill, and my NCOER is due that weekend. I can’t get my NCOER done without my boss being there……DUH! He is the one that has to do it. Oh, well. I guess if it gets done, I’ll do it myself, and if it doesn’t get done, I’ll go to my 1SG with it. Anyway…..I just had to vent. Now, though, I’m done. Until next time……Happy Blogging!