A toast to New Years Eve….

Courtesy of MsTags.com

Well, tonight is the night that people are supposed to be able to start over, right??? Wipe the slate clean and start fresh. What a great idea….if only it really worked that way. We all make our resolutions and tell ourselves that things will be different with the new year…but are things ever REALLY different? Maybe in little ways things are different, but not totally.  The slate can never really be wiped clean, and people can never really get a fresh start…at least that’s my opinion, and opinions are like assholes, and everyone stinks.

What an attitude to have on New Years….Maybe I just have this attitude that leans toward the negative side because I’m alone for the first time in my life on New Years.  I have no one special to celebrate tonight with.  I mean, I do have plans tonight, but for the first time I’m a single girl…And I have heard that how a person spends New Years Eve is how they will spend the rest of the year. If there is any truth to that then I will be single for the rest of the year. Hopefully there is no truth in that….for my sake at least.

Now for some New Years toasts that I have heard (most of these toasts may be offensive to some ladies out there, so if you are an easily offended female, then I suggest you stop reading now…)

1. Here’s to you, here’s to me, here’s to girls that get on their knees!

2. I love ‘em in leather, I love ‘em in lace, I love ‘em the best when they sit on my face!

3. Good bye, good luck, get high, get f*cked!

4. In the New Year, may your right hand always be stretched out in friendship, but never in want!

5. I drink champagne when I’m happy and when I’m sad. Sometimes I drink it when I’m alone. When I have company I consider it obligatory. I trifle with it if I’m not hungry and drink it when I am. Otherwise I never touch it – unless I’m thirsty!

6. May we be alive at this time next year!

7. Always do what you are afraid to do.

8. A toast! To our wives, and our girlfriends…may they never meet.

9. Gentlemen! I’ve drunk your health in Company,I’ve drunk your health alone. I’ve drunk your health so many times, I’ve darn near ruined my own! Here’s to me!

10. Here’s to the perfect girl. Who could ask for more, she’s deaf ‘n dumb, oversexed, and owns a liquor store.

11. Here’s to honor. Get on her. Stay on her. And if you can’t cum in her,cum on her.

12. Here’s to the hole that never heals, the more you rub it the better it feels, and all the soap this side of hell, won’t wash away that fishy smell.

13. Here’s to you and here’s to me, and to all the guys that lick us where we pee.

14. Here’s to those who sit when they pee.

15. Of all my favorite things to do, the utmost is to have a brew.
My love grows for my foamy friend,
With each thirst-quenching elbow bend.
Beer’s so frothy, smooth and cold–
It’s paradise–pure liquid gold.
Yes, beer means many things to me…
That’s all for now, I gotta pee!

16. Here’s to a long life and a happy one.
A quick death and an easy one.
A pretty girl and an honest one.
A cold beer and another one!

17. Best while you have it use your breath,
There is no drinking after death.

18. To women and horses, and the men that ride them.

19. DOH – The stuff that buys me beer.
RAY – The guy who sells me beer.
ME – The guys who drinks the beer.
FAR – A long way to get beer.
SO – I’ll have another beer.
LA – I’ll have another beer.
TEA – No thanks I’m drinking beer.
And that brings me back to DOH!

20. Here’s to women.
No other creature in Heaven or hell,
Can take the fruit from a nut,
Without ever breaking the shell.

21. Down your throat,
Into your bladder,
Which end it comes out,
Does it really matter?

So, there are all the toasts that I know. Maybe you can use one of them this New Years Eve. Whatever you decide to do tonight, please be safe. Don’t drink and drive. Don’t drink then drive. Don’t drive drunk. I’m sure no matter where you live, or where you go to celebrate the coming of the year 2007, there will be plenty of police out on the roads looking to pull over any car that looks halfway suspicious. Please don’t let them find cause to incarcerate you. Don’t endanger yourself by driving drunk, and more importantly don’t endanger the lives of others on the roads tonight by driving drunk. Call a cab if you have to be out on the roads and you have been drinking.

Alright, that’s enough mothering from me for now. Just be safe!

~Until next time, Happy Blogging and Happy New Year!!!~