Bored….

Well, I’m not supposed to be bored right now….I’m probably supposed to be busy…but, we all know how that goes sometimes…Well, I know how that goes anyway.

So, I had a really tough night last night.  My damn emotions started freaking out on me.  I had a very emotionally charged night.  I have two friends that sent me text messages and tried to make me feel better, but even though they tried their hardest, nothing they said made me feel any better…..

I had talked to my boyfriend earlier in the night, but as soon as we hung up the phone, I felt horrible again…..Finally though, he called me back.  he had to play pool for his team in the league he participates in, so I didn’t tell him I was having a bad night the first time he called because I knew he couldn’t stay on the phone.  But he was all ears when he called me back after he won his game.  He listened to my crying and he let me have my pity party, then he made me feel better.  He’s good at making me feel great.  He always knows how to make me laugh or smile when I’m having a bad day/night.  He’s wonderful to me.

Then I woke up at 4:37 a.m. this morning, picked up my cell phone to see what time it was, and saw that I had just gotten a text from him….it was an amazing text that made it hard for me to fall back asleep….We text-ed back and forth for a little bit, said our I love yous, and by that time I had to get up and get ready for work. 

I’m leaving Monday to go see him….I’ll be spending my birthday with him, I’m so excited!  I am so ready to jump into his arms and give him the biggest hug and kiss, and never let him go!!!!  I told him that, he reminded me that I can’t jump because my foot is messed up….so I told him I would run into his arms, and he had to remind me again that I can’t run….I hate being crippled like this.  I have decided that I will just grab hold of him and squeeze until I can’t squeeze anymore!

My brother has told my dad that I have talked seriously about moving in with my boyfriend.  Dad asked me about it today…He just came out and said, so your brother says you’re going to move up there….I was shocked!  I told him that yes, I would probably move sometime within the year.  Then I proceeded to talk to Dad about everything that is making want to move sooner rather than later.  I skipped all the stuff about wanting to be closer to my boyfriend, because a daughter has to know her limits when talking to her daddy!

He didn’t disagree with me….all he said was that I would probably have to pay outrageous out of state tuition…..I agreed with him.  But, I also started thinking to myself…I know that when you make a huge life decision, like moving in with your boyfriend who lives in another state and transferring schools, you have to take the good with the bad, and follow your heart at the same time.  I know the tuition costs would be outstanding.  I know that I would be leaving all of my friends.  I know that moving means my family will be at least 6 hours away form me….BUT!!!! 

Some of the reasons I want to move include these things:

1.  My brother and I are living together again after not living together for 8 years, and we are arguing and fighting all the time, I don’t want to live in a house where people constantly yell at each other.  I had a marriage like that, and I REFUSE to live like that with my little brother.

2.  Lately it feels like all of my friendships are one-sided.  Like it’s only convenient for my friends to be my friends when it’s convenient for them…..They call me when they need or want something….I call them just to say hi because I haven’t talked to them in a few days since their last crisis.  I have one friend that calls me just to say hello, and she’s my cousin.  Sad huh?

3.  I feel like my parents blame me for everything….when my brother and I fight, it’s my fault…when my brother started smoking, it was automatically my fault because I smoke, when he got into some other trouble I won’t mention here, of course it was my fault….I can’t pick up the car from the airport because I have had plans for over a month to go out of town-bad daughter….I have 3 pets that get on my brother’s nerves(I have had all of my pets for several years, he knew they were there when he moved in with me) my fault, and I should get rid of my pets to make my brother happy….

4.  My Army unit is putting me through hell, and there’s pretty much nothing I can do about it.  I am trying to transfer units, but I have to wait on the commander to do that, and she’s put me on her shit list for some reason….She won’t even sign my paperwork that says I hurt my foot on active duty, so I haven’t been able to see a specialist about my hurt foot yet…BITCH!

Plus, the biggest reason of all is that I am so in love with my boyfriend, I mean, it hurts that I’m so far away from him right now….He makes me happy.  I feel like a better person when I’m around him.  I feel like myself when I’m around him.  I can just be me, and he’s happy with me.  I don’t have to prove myself, or act like someone or something that I’m not.  I can look into his eyes, and see myself….It’s just amazing….I’m so much happier when he’s with me…I can’t explain it any other way than that…It probably sounds crazy to a lot of you reading this, but everything I just said about him is true….I love him.  I need to be closer to him, and he actually wants me to be closer to him, he wants me the same way that I want him…It’s absolutely amazing!

So, when I go up there next week, we are going to go find some universities that are close to where he lives, and I’m going to try to talk to people about what would happen to my college hours if I did transfer….That was his idea.  He doesn’t want me to move up there with him if it’s going to put me further behind in school than I already am.  He told me that he won’t let either of us make bad decisions just because we want to be together, we still have to be smart about things.  I agree with him.  If it turns out that I will be hurt more than helped if I transfer, then I’ll try to hurry up and finish school here in Arkansas….but if I won’t lose too many hours, and I can get accepted into the College of Education at a university up there, then I will go ahead and transfer.  I’ll just ahve to wait and see, and hope someone has time to talk to me when I go up there the next couple of weeks….

Anyway, I need a cigarette, so I’m goin gto end this one here….I feel like I’ve typed enough today…..Until next time~Happy Blogging!~

Sloganizing….Again!

Hello all you bloggers out there!  I got such a good response to my post with the sloganize site’s link in it that I decided to post the link again with some new slogans that I got today when I revisited their site again!!!

Their Link:

http://www.thesurrealist.co.uk/slogan.cgi

or try the movie quote sloganizer page to insert a word of your choice into a movie line.  FUN STUFF!!!  Her is that link:

http://thesurrealist.co.uk/movie.php?

Some new slogans::::::::::

Love~~~~Because LOVE is complicated enough.

Hate~~~~Great HATE, great times.

Moody~~~~Try MOODY, you’ll like it.

Sex~~~~Everything we do is driven by SEX!

Fuck~~~~Wouldn’t you like to be a FUCK too?

HAHAHAHA!  I like that last two words I sloganized the best!  So, I thought I’d make the link a little easier to find for those of you that like the site.

Hope ya’ll enjoy it as much as I did…..AGAIN!!!!

Until next time~Happy Blogging!~