I’m having a problem…

OK, so I have a 6 1/2 month old son and I am 2 months pregnant with my second child.  My son used to sleep through the night pretty well, falling asleep between 1900 & 2000 hrs, and then waking back up again between 0400 & 0500 hrs.  But, then he started getting ear infections and since his first ear infection, he hasn’t slept through the night except for a handful of nights. 

I am married to the father of both of my children, we sleep in the same bed most nights, (I sleep in the full size bed in the baby’s room when I get pissed off at my husband..) so my husband is beside me and should be able to hear the baby crying from the baby monitor that is right beside out bed, especially since I have it turned up full volume.  My husband is a very heavy sleeper, but I thought that if I tried to wake him up when I needed help at night with the baby, or when I needed a break from getting up every couple of hours, I thought that he would get up to help me and do his fatherly duties by taking care of the baby.  The other night, (13 April 09) before we went to sleep, my husband told me that if I needed his help with the baby, to wake him up and he would take care of whatever the baby needed.

So, being the wife that believes what her husband says about helping during the night, I woke up when the baby started crying at around 0200 hrs, I fed him a bottle, I tried to rock him back to sleep, I failed.  So, at 0300 hrs, I was getting frustrated, I was extremely tired from being up a couple of hours before that for an hour, plus I pregnant, I decided that I didn’t need to take care of the baby anymore because my nerves were shot, I was getting frustrated and upset, and I just plain needed help.  I tried to wake my husband, and the father of my baby, up to help me. 

Instead of him waking up, he rolled over, and after moaning to make me think he heard me, he was sound asleep.  I tried to wake him up again.  This time, he woke up after I shouted at him “DID YOU HEAR WHAT I SAID?” and replied by yelling back to me “YEAH, you want ME to take care HIM?!” and then rolled over again and went back to sleep.  So, I stayed up another hour trying to get MY son to fall back to sleep. 

Last night, (the very next night), I told my husband what happened the night before, and I told him that if I was a single parent it would be OK if I didn’t have help at night when the baby woke up, but since I am married and he sleeps right beside me, I shouldn’t have to act and live as if I am a single parent.   I went on to explain that I cannot wake up in the mornings and be on time to work because I am so tired from having to be up over half the night with the baby, I cannot function properly because I’m always tired, I never feel good pregnancy-wise because I am always tired, and it’s simply not fair to me that I have a husband that will not help, and actually yells at me like I have no business even trying to ask for his help when the baby wakes up in the middle of the night.  I asked my husband what I could/can do in order to wake him up during the night for him to help me.  I told him I will not punch him like he has told me to do before, because it’s ludicrous, and I told him that I have thought about throwing a glass of water on him, but then the bed I have to sleep in would be wet, and that he probably wouldn’t wake up even if I did that.  Instead of him answering me, he just went to the bathroom to brush his teeth.  I fell asleep while he was brushing his teeth because it takes him 10 fucking minutes to finish that task, and I was tired.

I need any suggestions my readers have for  me, any advice, I would be so greatful.  Anything you can think of that would help me get my husband to wake up and help me during the nights, at least one time when the baby wakes up.  I do have one idea, but I really don’t want it to come to this….

I have thought about telling him that he cannot stay at the house until he can take some of the responsibility of having a baby, and start helping me during the night.  I will do that if I have to, but I really don’t want it to come to that.  However, I do feel that if I am going to be acting as single mother would act, and do everything myself without his help, then I do not need the stressor of seeing him get a full nights sleep because he refuses to help me.

My second baby is due the end of October or the first of November, and I know that if things don’t change now, they definitely won’t after the second baby gets here.  What’s worse is that instead of working after the second baby gets here, I am going to go back to school and get my degree.  ( I only have 1.5 yrs left before I get my degree, and the sooner I finish the sooner I can get a stable job and steady income..)  I seriously don’t think I can go back to school and pass my classes if I am waking up at all hours of the night without his help at all to take care of a newborn and sometimes a 13 month old…

Please, tell me what you think I should do….Insight from others  always helps…

Thank you….:-)